What Southern Mama's Tell Their Daughters

when i was younger and my mom would tell me "kill them with kindness" in reference to bullying. i always thought that it sounded so absurd. of course, i listened. not only because i cant picture myself ever really "telling someone off", but because my mom was full of such fruitful wisdom, and i knew to not question.

when i was pregnant, my best, dearest friend, Kathryn Baxley (now Ivey, whom is expecting herself now), gave me an amazing book. Suck Your Stomach In & Put Some Color On! by Shellie Rushing Thomlinson. it's filled with quotes that southern mama's say, and i've heard plenty of them coming straight from my own mama:

"if you let anyone look at me after i'm dead, i'll haunt you for the rest of your life"... i'm glad i'm not the only one who had a mama that said such a thing. i laughed it off when she said it, but she was speaking with all seriousness. she never wanted anyone to see her look anything but gorgeous. i have a picture of her and i on my 18th birthday (7 days before she passed) and you would never know she had been sick for so long. she was always so graceful.

"i can tell you're lying by your pulse"... she used to put her pointer and middle finger together to check my pulse and told me if i was lying, she would know it. of course it's probably somewhat true due to the fact that if you're lying, your heart-rate would increase. but she did this more-so because she knew i would just tell on myself. and it worked... every time.

"always remember, mom and God are watching you"... words that kind of gave me goosebumps, but it kept me out of a lot of trouble. for fear that i would be struck by lightening, or struck by mama. both were obviously terrifying.

"Que sera sera"... i think are her most famous words. any time i had something to vent about, she eventually just said, whatever will be, will be. she shared a book with me, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, which just exaggerated the fact that life goes and when you step back and look at the issue at hand, it's really minuscule compared to the more important things in life.

this is my mom and i when i was probably around 13-14. i had just done her hair for her. she liked when i helped make her look young and hip. i must say, she did NOT look her age. (hope i get those genes).

a lot of what i know now is because of my mom. i wish i got to tell her more about how much she inspired me. we were very much a like in the fact that we were both painfully shy. she told me i would get over that after i had a child, and i think she's right. i'm slowly coming out of my shell.. slowly.

she always wanted me to do swing/ballroom dancing. it's something i've always loved to watch and i CAN do it, i'm just shy and dont really have the heart for it. it makes me smile so big every time Ava dances because i can feel my mom laughing and plotting Ava's future in ballroom dancing.

there are things here and there that sign to me that she's still with me. i will say that she left me in a very special way, and i will never forget that moment. i've always felt at peace because of it and i thank her for that. she was my best friend and a very strong, smart woman. i can only hope to be half as great a mom and person as she was to me. i will surely do my best to pass on the sense that she left.