My Fears...

Day 7: The Thing(s) You're Most Afraid Of...



Isn't it funny how fearless you are when you're little? I mean, the biggest fear I had when I was younger was losing my mom in a grocery store and the dark... those were the days.


The older I got, the more fears I accumulated.

Roaches, heights, elevators, speaking in front of the class (super, super shy!), failing school, being dumped by a boyfriend... you get my drift. Fears, but nothing compared to the ones that I harbor now.

Being a mom has been the best gift I've ever been given. But it doesn't come without a cost. That cost.. is fear!

Right now, there hasn't been much to put this fear in motion because I'm always near my kids. I know who has them, I know who that person is, I know where my kids are. But, at some point, you have to let them go. They need to go to school, be with friends, go to college, go to party's. I mean, I'd be just fine strapping a leash on them and holding that thing tight until the day that I die! I don't think they would appreciate that very much, at all.

I laugh at how ignorant I was, even at 18. Why did I think I was invincible? Knowing how I was, I can only imagine my children will be the same way. They will be totally oblivious to all of the ugly out there, no matter how hard I try to convince them otherwise. I will be worrying every.single.second that they're out of my grasp. I want to ask how my parents weren't LITERALLY sick with worry every time that I walked out of the door, but I know the answer already. You Just Do It!



I've already had one of my biggest fears happen to me when I watched my mother die of breast cancer at 18. Of course, it turned my whole world upside down. But I cannot even BEGIN to imagine how that felt for my grandmother. To watch her only daughter slip away, and there wasn't a thing she could do about it. Unfathomable.

Watching how that all went down for over 5 years makes me TERRIFIED of cancer. (who isn't though, really?) In all actuality, I'm just afraid of dying in general. Which is really not a way to LIVE.

Try having this battle in your head daily.



So what are YOU afraid of?