where i hang my hat

Sunday, May 12, 2013

What I Miss

Day 12: What Do You Miss?

There are a million things I could list here... But I will never miss anything more than my sweet, beautiful mother.

Happy Mother's Day to all of you beautiful mama's! I hope your day is full of love!

What do you miss?

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Ten Words

Day 11: Sell Yourself in 10 Words or Less

artsy
empathetic
domestic
ambitious
thrifty
witty
culinarian
attentive
humble
dependable

that was SUPER hard!

your turn!

Friday, May 10, 2013

Day 10: Most Embarrassing Moments. Spill.

oyyyyyyy veeeeeeyyyy, there are a milllllllion stories i could tell here. considering i dont get out much any more... (an upside to being a hermit) i dont have any recent stories.

let's go back to age 19.

most of the time i was inebriated at this age (gasp!), but surprisingly enough, in this story... i'm not.

i wasn't in a relationship at this time. just kind of playing the field. i had just stopped seeing a younger guy. he was so arrogant and annoying. he didnt even have a job, but tons of money that his parents just gave him, because he was in college. for my birthday, he even got me a really awesome dress from express ($$!!). like i said though, super young... and he was super annoying and immature. so... bye bye, boy.

i started seeing another guy, shortly after (i sound like a slut... whatev). for our first date, he took me to a Chiodos concert in Myrtle Beach (2 hour drive with a stranger? YES! wth was i thinking? sigghhhhh). so we get there and GUESS WHO THE FIRST PERSON I SEE IS?! the freaking young arrogant asshole that i had just stopped seeing. AND GUESS WHAT I WAS WEARING!?

^ the dress...

haha, the stupid dress that he got me. so awkward.. we just looked at each other and smiled. no convo. so on we go. we get closest to the stage without being on the floor because this is an emo band and people like to slam dance and mosh to it... that still makes me laugh.

this dress had pockets, which was what made this my favorite. i'm like will ferrel in talladega nights... i never know what to do with my hands. i'm so awkward.

so of course, my hands were in there.
mosh starts going.
someone bumps into me.
i cant get my hands out of my pockets.
hands go up.
ass out.
for all to see.
especially my date.
kill me now.

this wouldnt have been so bad... i mean, i had underwear on. it's just like a bathing suit, right?

only that wasnt the end of my embarrassing story.

at the end of the concert, all of the bands are at the door, selling their merch.
i go up to this one guy whos selling Devil Wears Prada merch.
i'm gushing about how much i love his band.
realize he's not even in the band.
he's just selling their stuff.
logical thing to do? walk away.
what do i do? keep talking.
why? WHO EFFING KNOWS!

whatever. i'm sure i'll top that one of these days. but i'll probably be too intoxicated to care.

time for you to SPILL!!

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Special Moment

Day 9: A moment in your day

watching her go from "unimpressed" to "full blown joy"!

eat. sleep. poop. repeat.

the life!

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

A Little Advice

Day 8: A piece of advice you have for others.

It starts off like this...

Setting: Circa 2002. My high school days. At home.
Scene: Probably going on about something materialistic that I wanted or wondering out loud about a boy that I'm confused about...

Me: "Mom, what do you think?"
[cue music]
Mom: (singing) "Que Sera, Sera. Whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours to see. Que Sera, Sera."

... Thank you, Doris Day...

Sometimes I forget to stop worrying about everything. I have a hard time when I dont know what's going to happen next. I get anxious. So... naturally, I went and had "Que Sera, Sera" tattooed on my arm.

Well, if she's not here to sing it to me, SOMETHING has to remind me to calm my ass down.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

My Fears...

Day 7: The Thing(s) You're Most Afraid Of...

Isn't it funny how fearless you are when you're little? I mean, the biggest fear I had when I was younger was losing my mom in a grocery store and the dark... those were the days.

The older I got, the more fears I accumulated.

Roaches, heights, elevators, speaking in front of the class (super, super shy!), failing school, being dumped by a boyfriend... you get my drift. Fears, but nothing compared to the ones that I harbor now.

Being a mom has been the best gift I've ever been given. But it doesn't come without a cost. That cost.. is fear!

Right now, there hasn't been much to put this fear in motion because I'm always near my kids. I know who has them, I know who that person is, I know where my kids are. But, at some point, you have to let them go. They need to go to school, be with friends, go to college, go to party's. I mean, I'd be just fine strapping a leash on them and holding that thing tight until the day that I die! I don't think they would appreciate that very much, at all.

I laugh at how ignorant I was, even at 18. Why did I think I was invincible? Knowing how I was, I can only imagine my children will be the same way. They will be totally oblivious to all of the ugly out there, no matter how hard I try to convince them otherwise. I will be worrying every.single.second that they're out of my grasp. I want to ask how my parents weren't LITERALLY sick with worry every time that I walked out of the door, but I know the answer already. You Just Do It!

I've already had one of my biggest fears happen to me when I watched my mother die of breast cancer at 18. Of course, it turned my whole world upside down. But I cannot even BEGIN to imagine how that felt for my grandmother. To watch her only daughter slip away, and there wasn't a thing she could do about it. Unfathomable.

Watching how that all went down for over 5 years makes me TERRIFIED of cancer. (who isn't though, really?) In all actuality, I'm just afraid of dying in general. Which is really not a way to LIVE.

Try having this battle in your head daily.

So what are YOU afraid of?

Monday, May 6, 2013

"What Do You Do?"

If you couldn't answer with your job, how would you answer the question "what do you do"?

Well, considering my job is a Stay At Home Mom, it'd be kind of tough not to say exactly that.

Stay At Home Mom includes but is NOT limited to:

very, very little sleep (especially with a newborn)
half a pot of coffee in the mornings (dont judge me... if you also drink a gallon of coffee a day, heyyy!! let's be friends!)
cartoons... and knowing all of the theme songs (and singing them when your child is nowhere to be found... stupid Strawberry Shortcake).
coloring, blowing bubbles, playing outside
weekly field-trips so that none of us go stir-crazy! (mostly me).
take a gazillion pictures throughout the day. it's normal to have over a thousand pictures in your iphone. true?
kissing boo-boo's and re-filling endless amounts of juice!
reading half of a chapter of a REALLY good book. i'll finish it one day... maybe.
fitting in any sort of exercise during naptime. unless it's the treadmill... it literally sounds like a train is coming through my house. do they make a quiet one of those? please share.
washing the same load of laundry at least twice because it sits in there so long, it stinks.
throwing said load of laundry on the bed and calling it a day after it's dried. who has time to fold and hang?! pfffttt....
kiss husband hello and share SAHM duties until bedtime.
maaaaaaybe get that pile of dirty dishes cleaned before bed (probably not)
read bedtimes stories and give a millllion kisses and hugs before turning out the lights
coming back to spray ~~febreez~~ Monster Spray all over the entire room to protect the little ones.
snuggle with the husband and watch some shows you DVR'd.
go to sleep and know that I wouldnt *ever* change a single thing. these days are long and the years are short. there's no better thing for me to do, than raise my girls and watch them grow every day.

What do YOU do?

2 Months!

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Ohhhhhh, do I know how to disappear or WHAT!

My desktop computer was out of service for AGES (ok, only a year... that is a LOOONNNG time!) so I had been using my husbands work, laptop. Pretty awful to use so I always found excuses not to get on this.

Well, my friends.... operation "restore-desktop" was a success this weekend! WOOT WOOT!

I'm thinking about re-doing the whole blog... but that can wait right this second because....

THIS precious girl turned 2 months last Friday. It's flyiiinnnggg by!

Weight: 11lbs 14oz! Chunky Monkey :)

Health: Couldn't be healthier!

Sleep: She actually hit a new record the night before last... 7 hours! WHAT! My boobs were so engorged that they were about to EXPLODE, but I will *take it!!* :) She also sleeps A LOT during the day, still. She's up maybe 4 hours total during the day. I want her to stay awake more, but I know I will regret saying that very soon. So I'm trying to take advantage.

Social: She is such a ham! She loooves to smile and coo. She has this owl toy that was given to me at my baby shower. I hook it on her bouncer or swing and she will just laaaugh and smile and kick and hit. Cutest thing ever.

Diet: Breast milk! She eats about every 2 and a half to 4 hours during the day. At night it goes from 2 and a half to 7 hours. I try to just let her tell me when she's hungry, but if I wake up and she's still sleeping, I will change her and feed her and usually she stays asleep the whole time! :)

Clothes: She's officially in 3 month clothing. I'm sure she could even fit into 6 month bottoms. Home girl is not small... at all. I couldn't love her rolls more! She's in size 1 diapers, and they're getting a little small. She could probably wear size 2, but we still have 1's to go through. Also, I bought some Target brand diapers to try. I've heard such great things and with 50 diapers for only $7, I HAD to try. *Love Them*. Please try them. Especially with young ones who poop and pee every 10 minutes. Life. Changed.

Baby Gear: Still looooving the Rock 'N Play. I fear she may be out-growing this one soon, though. She likes the bouncer and swing for short periods of time. Sometimes I lay the changing pad on the floor in the living room and she will look around or sometimes even fall asleep on it. She's been holding her head up for about a month now. It may be time to clean off the exersaucer and invest in a walker! It'll be here before I know it. :) :(

Crying: The crying is getting less and less. Most of the time it's a pitiful whine. I can usually tell the difference between hungry and gassy now. PLEASE invest in gas drops, if you're expecting. You will need them. Especially if you're breastfeeding.

Likes: She ~~likes~~ LOVES her big sister, Ava, talking to her. Ava has no idea that her voice is already high-pitch. She hears us talking to Scarlett in a high-pitch voice (yes, I'm one of those. Can you really help but do it? I've tried. Dont judge me...) so she's just mocking us, but it is the funniest thing to hear a nearly 4 year old baby-talking a baby... Scarlett also loves her owl, as mentioned before. I take it everywhere. Carseat, bouncer, swing, play mat. Best gift ever!

8 weeks PP

Postpartum: I'm still at the same I was a month ago. I finally got the ok from the doctor at 6 weeks and still havent done any exersices. Today was my first time back in the game and I did 100 squats + 20 minutes power-walking on the treadmill.... my legs are jello.

Milestones: sleeping through the night, smiling, cooing, reaching, increased tummy-time.

Seriously, though.... I am going to try my best to show my blog some love. :)

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Scarlett Macie is One Month Old!

Scarlett Macie Baney

Weight: about 10lbs now

Health: very healthy boo. she had a bit of jaundice in the beginning, but lots of breast milk and sunlight helped.

Sleep: *SHE* sleeps all the time! At night, I get anywhere from 2, 3, or 4 hour stretches. I'll take it! She does sleep with us. We have a co-sleeper beside our bed. Sometimes she makes it back in there after feedings...

Social: She's starting to stay awake more and more. I try to make that time during the day, but sometimes she just wants to be a night owl! We'll get on track soon enough. She turns her head to sound or movement. Which is usually her big sister smothering her with kisses.

Diet: Strictly breast milk. Every couple of hours. She does get into cluster feedings in the afternoons and will eat small amounts every hour. I'm hoping that's just a growth spurt phase! It's very exhausting.

Clothes: The newborn clothes are starting to struggle. The onesies are usually ok, but the sleepers are pretty much dunzo. She's juuuuust about in size 1 diapers.

Baby Gear: Absolutely-positively IN*LOVE with the Fisher-Price SnugaBunny Newborn Rock 'n Play Soother. She LOVESSS it. It's very snuggly and super safe. If I have something to do, she's in there. Also, the Baby K'tan. We go on family walks and this is so comfortable. Highly Recommend.

Crying: Obviously when she's hungry. In the afternoons she gets super gassy (colic maybe) and she's very restless and fussy. We try and work her legs around and get the gas out. Usually that by itself works, but if not, we pull in the big guns. Mylicon got me through my first child and it's not letting me down now. I've also heard great things about gripe water, but haven't tried it just yet. It's on the list!

Likes: BREAST MILK! :) And lots of snuggling.

Postpartum: (left is one weeks pp, right is 4 weeks pp.) I'm down to my pre-baby weight. Still some areas that needed help even before then. My thighs and arms are always the first to show weight gain, so that's where I hope to start. As soon as the doc okays me in a couple weeks. :) I ended up having Mastitis about two weeks after I had Scarlett. I started having flu-like symptoms like chills, dizziness, my whole body was sore and I had mild fevers. I called the doctor and luckily we caught it early. They gave me some antibiotics and now I'm muuuuch better. Know your body! If something feels weird, call the doctor. Better to be safe than sorry!

Milestones: We have some smiling! Could just be gas, but I'll take what I can get! Her biggest milestone is holding her head on her own. She's had great control since day one, but it's getting better and better! Strong girl!

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

We're Alive!

I have been SUPER busy around here (as all of you new mommies know). Balancing two is slowly coming together for me. I'm so lucky to have two great girls. They really are spoiling me. They must want a brother sometime down the road ;).

So I wanted to share Scarlett's birth story. To start out, I had an emergency C-section with my first daughter. After 16 long hours of labor, they told me to stop pushing (yes, it even got to that stage) and that she was trying to come out sideways. That my best option for a healthy mom and baby was to have a C-section. After 15 minutes of crying (part exhaustion, part nerves, and part FRUSTRATION!), they rolled me in and *pop* there she was.

After talking to my doctor over the last nine months, we both felt comfortable with me trying a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). I trust my doctor whole-heartily and if he would have had any doubts about the VBAC, I totally would have listened.

On March 1st, I started having contractions. I had an app on my iPhone that allowed me to track them. They would start out consistent and then fade out. They were NOT Braxton Hicks. I had BH my entire pregnancy, and while they're super annoying... they weren't painful. THESE contractions had me bent over. After two days of contractions coming and going, I was ready to evict this little girl. If they weren't going to stop, she was going to come. So, we did everything. My SIL recommended trying Olive Gardens Eggplant Parmesan. I googled it and apparently it's legit, people go into labor shortly after eating it, due to the spices (so it says).

Off to Olive Garden we went, March 2nd. We sat down to eat around 7 and I ate as much as I could. I had never even eaten eggplant before... and not to sound cliché, but it tasted like chicken! Pretty tasty.

So, we get home and I'm still having contractions every couple hours. Nothing to take note of. We get Ava to bed and do our usual bedtime routine.

I shit you not, my water broke at 11:45 that night. I think Andy and I sat there and laughed for a good 5 minutes because of how ridiculous it was that it was happening just hours after the eggplant parm. We called my MIL and she came right over, and laughed just as much (the in laws went to dinner with us and knew my intentions). She stayed over with Ava while we went to the hospital.

The hospital is a good 20-25 minute ride (there are closer ones, but I wasn't a fan). The contractions were getting super close and super strong. I remember saying "I better be AT LEAST 4-5cm when we get there", because my doctor said it would be about then that he'd feel safe giving me the epidural. Because of my C-section scar, he didn't want to give me pictosin unless need be because it my rupture my scar. That would be a problem.

So we get in there and everything is so calm and amazing, the staff was great, and even more wonderful? MY doctor was on call that night! That almost never happens.

They checked me and I was already at about 4 1/2- 5 cm!! Praise the Lord! But because I was so mellow and tolerant of the contractions, he asked that I go as long as I could without the epidural so that it wouldn't slow down the process. Because I'm such a good patient (or because I didn't want to slow down the process either), I went another couple of hours with no epidural... no drugs at all, for that matter.

I got my epidural eventually at 4am. I was at 7cm and they decided I was progressing well enough. They tell you to nap, but of course, I couldn't. I was feeling tremendous pressure around 7am and was at 9cm. By 8am, it was time to push. Now this is were you may get scared if you haven't yet had your baby, but I assure you, I'm here to tell the tale, so everything turned out fine.

They said usually it takes about an hour to push, if you've never given birth vaginally. So I wanted to cry at that. It was HARD!!! You have to have a very strong will power to get that baby out, and man, did I! I was ready to meet this little girl SO. BAD.

Right when they said "one more good push and she's here", I pushed with everything I had. And then shit hit the fan. I hear "I need another nurse in here STAT!", people are running around, my husband gets pushed out of the way, a nurse brings in a stool and stands over my stomach. Then she's JUMPING on my stomach, the doctor is saying "keep pushing as hard as you can, her shoulders are stuck". I'm pushing as hard as I can, I assure you. Side note: my epidural has worn off greatly and I can feel pretty much everything.

One more giant push with everything I had in me and then BAM, she's on my chest. I cannot explain the relief you get when your baby comes out. It's pretty amazing.

Scarlett Macie was born on 3/3/13 at 9am. 7lbs, 10oz. 21" long. We were all pretty surprised at her size! She must have been hanging out in my back because I did NOT feel like I was carrying that much baby out front.

Since then...

Really going to try my best to get back on track. Baby girl is a month old tomorrow and I'm starting to feel like a human again. Although you wouldn't be able to tell with how dark my under-eyes are.